Poor Playground Planning

"Okay guys, we've got the budget and space for one more fixture in this playground. The options are a swing, a roundabout or a zigzag metal thing that kids can try and walk across without twisting their ankle."

Hip Hop Video Gender Ratio

"Hello ladies, thanks for coming to my party! Let me take your coats. Now before you go in, I must apologise for the severe lack of guys that have turned up. In fact, there's only me and a couple of friends. I'm well aware that nobody likes a party with a ratio this bad and I feel terrible about it. I did try to invite an equal number of girls and guys and am even tempted to call the whole thing off, to be honest. Again, really sorry!"

Polite Notices

You've taken my money and put me in this state. I'm not about to act as some sort of intermediary between you and the council.